The group of people called therapists

 Finding a Therapist…my personal experiences 

My therapist has been on maternity leave for 15 weeks and 3 days now. Yes I’m counting. I’m hoping only 3 more weeks until she returns. I will make a separate post about this soon. I made a mistake by not finding someone else to see while she has been gone. My plan was to just take a break and work on improving my daily life. That didn’t work out well for me. 

I did try finding someone else and my experiences were honestly fucked up! I reached out to a total of 22 different therapists that I found from searching several hundred. I excluded the 12 who courteously replied by email they weren’t taking new clients even though their listing stated otherwise. All of them offered free consults which I took advantage of. Three of them didn’t bother to show up at the scheduled time even when confirmed and no communication they weren’t coming(so unprofessional). One challenged me for asking her questions and then told me I wasn’t right for her practice because I asked(I thought therapy was a collaboration not a dictatorship). Two showed and said they had no space for several months(why take the consult when I need someone now?). One told me to try Better Help. One I contacted thru a low cost service told me she gave away her last sliding scale spot the night before but could see me at full price(I call BS on the night before). 

Ten rejections. Ten failures. Hopeless. Empty. This is how I felt after these encounters. Sure I am responsible for my own feelings but here’s what I’d like to say to any therapist that might be reading this:

I am so happy that mental health is in the public eye now more than ever and people are getting help, which means you all have an abundance of clients/patients available to make your living. Update your info online. When it says taking new patients I assume you are. While I respect and honor your right to help who you choose, PLEASE pause and check within yourself when making those choices out loud. There are many like me truly hurting and first impressions, actions and words can be very impactful. Treat your consults as professional, delicate and gentle as a session. None of us know what’s really going on in each other.

From my experiences I don’t have a very good opinion of therapists in general. I never found anyone to help me get through this time. It has been hard being alone again with all my thoughts. I can only hope I’ll get mine back in three weeks. I don’t know what I’ll do if that doesn’t happen. 15 weeks, three days and still counting.

2-2-23