How do I keep going? It’s getting increasingly difficult for me to see anything that’s even slightly hopeful ahead. I cultivated most of this hell I find myself in. A life of being by myself, alone and one that I do understand is not sustainable. But at this point I don’t see any way out.
I’ve dug a huge hole for myself and I don’t see a way out. While I may be able to experience some back fill, the reality is not looking good for escape. Everyday I am reminded of how much I have failed myself but I’m too numb to care much anymore. Hopelessness is what brings on the darkness. Any yes I do believe I find comfort there now. No one will see me there. I don't think anyone looks.
Tired.
11.24.24
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