Parts Parts Parts

         

 Parts Parts Parts

Every part is different. 

I haven’t really spoken about parts here much. Yes I do work with my “parts”. Parts works seems to be a new buzz word this past year kind of like mindfulness was for a bit. Neither are new concepts. 

I found parts works not quite 3 years ago. I’ve read 23 books about IFS/Parts Work, been to many workshops, drop in groups, paid groups, numerous websites and Facebook groups, all in the name of learning about my parts. For me, finding IFS was like discovering my missing language. It has given me the ability to communicate with others what is going on inside my system and they can actually understand! 

It also has made a change in my system which is hard to describe but I’ll try. I used to live my life compartmentalizing all facets of it. Everything was pretty separate. With IFS/Parts work, those compartments have now become apartments, with windows and doors. And now my parts can see, and know each other, can come and go, no longer in isolation of their compartment, waiting for me to let them out.

I do this mostly on my own as my therapist is not trained in this modality but we manage. That’s why I go to groups and drop-ins and workshops; to check in with a trained person. It’s a pretty interesting way to interact and get to know yourself. 

Have I mentioned that my therapist is on maternity leave again? Yep baby number 2 while I’m still with her. Harder even this time because of how the strength of our relationship evolved. But I wasn’t going to make the same mistake this time and go it alone. That wasn’t so great for me. Thankfully, I have someone to help me through this time. I’m very happy to have her.

One thing I have been thinking about since she’s been gone is something she has said to me on several occasions. She wonders if she is holding me back, would I be better served with someone who knows parts work or other modalities she isn’t trained in. I tell her the same thing every time. Of course I can find someone who does parts work/IFS, but I can’t replicate our relationship that we have been building the last 3 years. I am usually very considerate and thoughtful of others but I haven’t considered am I forcing her to learn this because it’s something I want? Is that the right thing to do for either of us? I am still pretty passionate about it and utilize it constantly in my daily talk about parts. The concepts are understood. She always puts what I need first…always. That is something I can’t deny as she has shown me over and over. Unintentionally I know I’ve done things that others would be offended by but she never is (or she doesn’t tell me she is). I think she knows me and hopefully understands my intentions and is always supportive. So.. Why am I chasing other things…why isn’t what we’re doing, what she offers enough? I never thought of it this way. My thoughts are just finding things to help myself. I am so used to having to do everything for myself, that hyper independence, I just do it everywhere in my life, even when I am paying a professional for help. Like helping the landscaper do the yard- that’s so me! I also love to learn and IFS is fun to learn! Lastly, one hour therapy session a week is slow going when you have 60 years of uncovering to do. Of course I’m going to work on my own. It’s never personal against another. I am very appreciative of peoples help, my therapists especially. 

 I don’t know what the right thing is here but I do still strongly believe in our relationship over anything else and pretty sure most therapists do too. Things to ponder and work through while she is gone. Trailheads as they call it in IFS. It can sometimes be clearer when you’re not in the middle of it. 

I had another thought after I went away for a few minutes….IFS is something you can do a lot on your own. Certainly fits my narrative. OMG SMH 🤦🏻‍♀️. Do I gravitate to these things so I don’t need others or because I’m afraid of losing what I have or both? Probably. Yep. 

Parts, parts, parts. Busy day today. LOL <<< at least there’s that 🙂

The roller coaster of life with Lola

Last day of November and New Moon. Explains my busy brain….out with the old, in with the new. Hope it starts working…..get that New Moon broom out! 

Still alone with my thoughts

I might be a crazy cat lady but my cats don’t think I’m crazy 

I think I’m done being here for today.

Maybe not. 

Options. 

11.30.24