Tired

Tired

I have no confidence in my own ability to choose people who won’t hurt me. It almost feels at this point that I am purposely making these self sabotaging choices. How do I not see some of this stuff coming. My warning system is totally programmed backwards and it just validates people equal pain for me and makes me go deeper into my Castle. 

  This is day nine of my isolation, being let go out of therapy with no back up. I have not had any meaningful conversations with any people and have not left my house. I am not feeling bad enough to do anything about it at this point. I will think about the grocery store soon but that will be the only reason to go anywhere. 

Just stand there, smile and take it. No one will notice. Doing my best to hang in and hang on. 

ISO Day 9. Alone. Hurt. Tired. 

1.8.25