Caring = Compassion
Sounds like such a simple concept- to care. I’ve got that caring part down but it’s who I don’t care about is the issue. I care about everyone else except me. How do I go about caring for myself? I find zero compassion when I think of myself, my Self. It’s blocked by my guards. Total silence. Total darkness. No access. I’ve sat for hours and still can’t see or hear or feel anything but the block.
I worry how will I be able to truly continue in a healthy way if I can’t find some self compassion. I’m told it’s easy but to me that’s just another lie. There is nothing about it I find easy. I can’t seem to see any reason for deserving it. I have no real idea how to accomplish really caring about myself. I flounder in the darkness and cruelty that seems to now provide comfort.
No one explains it so we can understand and I don’t know what to ask anymore. And now there will be no one left to ask for a while. So we all just stay, trapped in many ways, in Harshland. We stay and just suck it up and take it like we were taught to do.
Worthless just keeps reminding me of our lack. She is loud and makes me tired. So many friends. So much power. Stop. Let me out.
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