Holidaze

Holidaze

 Christmas is five days away. That’s hard to believe really. I’ve been mostly working to not allow the holidays to overwhelm me. I am not all doom and gloom. Quite the contrary; I truly enjoy the holiday season and what it’s all about.

I love the Christmas lights and I used to put up some decent displays. I’m sitting here thinking about some of great displays that I’ve seen around town in the past. Jeff really enjoyed going all out inside and out. Such good memories of this time of year.

It’s interesting as I realize how cut off I am. I haven’t even seen much at all that is to with Christmas. I’m not outside at night. I don’t watch the news or live network TV. If it’s live for me it’s sports otherwise it’s streamed. My point is how easy it’s been to not even think about it being Christmas.

I need it this way this year. Low key and trying to maintain and do my best each day. Some days I so desperately want to find a way out of all that exists but on others I'm still so curious to explore the darkest paths that have had so much control for so many years. Lots here waiting. Wanting to be seen and heard and much more. Patience.

As I navigate the next steps for myself I will take this time of Christmas to have some rest and enjoy a few of my own simple traditions.  No cooking or baking for me this year but I will still manage to get a few goodies! 

It’s good to think about all these things. I’m checking in with all those memories to see what’s there. So many different types of Christmases I have had over my years. Lots of goodness. I’ll remember this from the feels I got! 

Christmas. Spirit. Not sure how I’d define it for myself this year. Yet. Still have 5 days.

12.20.24